Jan and Ken Case Study Essay

1. Using the chapters on language and emotions to help frame your answer, suggest two ways that Ken could open this conversation more productively. For instance, clearly expressing his emotions and using â€Å"I† language. Ken could have tried opening the conversation more productively by saying something like, â€Å"Jan, do you have a few minutes? (This acknowledges to Jan that ken feels that her time is valuable), I would appreciate if we could talk about a problem that I am having. I believe that Shannon is upset with me, and does not want to speak to me. I was wondering if you told Shannon about Katie and me (trying not to be accusatory, so that Jan will not become defensive), 2. How do you perceive Jan’s effort to convince Ken to forgive her? Based on what you have learned in this chapter, suggest two ways she might more effectively seek Ken’s forgiveness. Jan attempt to get Ken to forgive her is full of defensiveness and self interest. Jan could more effectively seek and obtain Ken’s forgiveness by acknowledging ken’s point of view. Jan would be more effective in seeking ken’s forgiveness if she did not seem to be so defensive, and she tried to see the situation from his perspective. Jan also needs to demonstrate that she has a desire to restore the well-being of their friendship. Jan repeated saying, â€Å"I’m sorry, okay?† is not helping the situation at all. She needs to show some genuine remorse. 3. The conversation so far seems to be framed in a win-lose orientation to conflict. Each person wants to be right, to win at the expense of the other. How can Jan and Ken move their conflict discussion into a win-win orientation? Ken and Jan can move their conflict discussion to win-win orientation by identifying what they need out of this situation. They both have problem that need to be addressed. Ken’s problem is more recent and Jan’s issue seems to have been smoldering for a while. Ken needs to be  able to†¦